Paragraph Analysis

After analyzing my draft paragraph by paragraph, the following is what I noticed.

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Firstly, I realized that I tend to leave out a lot of information which needs to be added. I need to develop the majority of my paragraphs further. Other than that, I feel that I did a good job organizing and transitioning between topics. In addition, I don't think I ever strayed too far off-topic, like I used to do a lot, so that's a huge step in the right direction.

Reflection on Project 1 Draft

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I'm about to reflect on a mighty journey of effort and exhaustion, much like a mountain climber looking out, over the world he's worked to overcome.

Firstly, I peer-edited Chloe's and Jessi's QRGs.

Audience

• For now at least, my QRG is meant for my classmates and instructor.
• They all, I assume, value quality work, and expect it too. I certainly hope Im making quality work.
• In terms of keeping consistent with the genre, I shouldn't Assume that anyone knows anything about my topic. The burden of providing background is entirely on me. In doing this, I think we should all have the assumption that no one will be offended and will understand when seemingly simple things are explained.
• Professional, respectful, and level-headed language is probably best.
• My tone should be analytical, and removed - completely unemotional.

Context

• I need to work within the conventions of the genre, which I've definitely tried to do.
• The content requirements, as far as I can tell, were laid out in several resources that our instructor provided us, and I try to meet those requirements. 
• I certainly use skills gained in class. I would not have been able to analyze anything in the specific way I do in my document, had it not been for class time.
• I haven't noticed any grammatical issues in previously submitted assignments, but if I do, I'll be sure to learn from them.

Clarity, Part 1

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The following are short discussions on four topics from the 'clarity' section in Rules for Writers.

Needed words, page 119

Everybody leaves out words, but it's important to remember that grammar still applies to those words. I know that sometimes I have trouble following which words need to be conjugated with which others, and it makes everything confusing. However, I know that I need to pay more attention to it, and I should be fine.

Emphasis, page 141

I didn't realize that emphasis could be achieved by putting less important information in subordinate clauses. I think I've put a lot of important information in dependent clauses and as a result, maybe I've undercut the true importance of what I was trying to say. This is also something I need to pay attention to.

Exact word, page 171

I've never really given a second thought to all those times I could think of a word, and went with just any one that was close enough. It's embarrassing, but I don't think I ever stopped to think, " you know, that doesn't really say what I mean..." But when it's important, I'll start doing that (like on the QRG).

Wordy sentences, page 156

I'm almost certain that I am guilty of writing long sentences. Maybe it's because I have such a long attention span and powerful short term memory that all the information doesn't seem to be too much... But more likely, I have such a short attention span and weak short term memory that I forget how long the sentence has been going, so I think, "Oh, yeah I totally just started this sentence. I know I haven't said much yet..." But really, I'm going to have to revise some long sentences.


Reflection:
After peer-reviewing Chloe's QRG draft, I can see why exact wording might be useful firsthand. Though there is a problem. She uses the words optogenetic and chemogenetic. now these are the exact words to use, and their meanings are unique. The sentence becomes more concise. However, the problem I noticed is that sometimes, exact words are obscure, and need explanation, which takes up more time and writing than just ignoring the word and writing the meaning would. However, the word could have more importance than just a single use, so even taking the time to define the obscure ones can be well worth the effort. 

From Jessi's QRG draft, I noticed the emphasis of putting a point in an independent clause. She wrote, "In all likelihood, even with the life support, her heart will fail." This sentence uses an appositive, which dissipates the bluntness of the otherwise very clear and bold statement (the remaining independent clause): her heart will fail.

Thoughts on Drafting

This post will explain what parts of the guide to drafting carry over from an essay draft to our drafts of quick reference guides.

Seattle Municipal Archives. "Drafter working in Engineering Department, 1959" 4/28/1959 via flickr.
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Of course, Drafting is important, no matter the genre, but the important aspects of it change.

For example, a thesis statement is not very important in a Quick reference guide, because there isn't supposed to be an overarching point the author tries to get across. A QRG is more about giving information than persuading or arguing in itself.

The PIE format for paragraphs is also (though not as entirely) not vital for a QRG. it draws on the same reason as the thesis statement, because the format is designed to support a thesis. Now, it is important to draft how the paragraphs will be set up, so PIE could work, it's just that a "point" is a bit strong, when a QRG should just be giving information.

Introductions are extremely important for QRG in addition to papers. This is because the audience for a QRG is ideally someone who doesn't know much about the topic, so an introduction is vital to ease the transition from ignorance to understanding. To do this most effectively, a draft is important.

Organizing information is also highly important in a QRG, as there will be a lot of it, and organizing it appropriately makes it easier to take in. Without proper organization, a reader will get lost in a random mix of information, without path markers to figure out what's going on.

Conclusions are also not as vital in a QRG. For a proper conclusion, it would need to be long, since the topics are usually so broad, and any information that a conclusion would offer can be found easily in the subsection it relates to, because each section is short enough not to need a conclusion.


Reflection:

After reading Mark's and Ann's post about their thoughts on the drafting suggestions from the book, I realized that maybe conclusions are important after all.

1. First, I'll need to include a conclusion. maybe I'll do small summaries at the end of each subsection.
2. I also don't think that my introductions were particularly effective, which is important.
3. I'm also not sure if I adequately introduced the whole topic, so in addition to the intros to each subsection, I'll need to include one for the whole topic.